So I watched my wedding video last night... and today... and it was a bad idea... err a good idea... Bad? Good? Hmm... You see, it left me with no desire to get married again, that could be good considering it's not really in the cards anytime soon anyways... but it also left me frusterated and depressed.
"I promise you, I will always be there for you, nothing I wont do" The Bryan Adams song we walked down the aisle to. Maybe it meant something that I chose the song, because I meant the words, it became obvious in our marriage that he would not. After we were seperated he came up north to persuade my return. He told me that our whole marriage I had been putting in more effort than him, and he wanted it to change. It was nice that he noticed, but reminded me that we had a long ways to go before we could ever be together. He never did change, give more. I hope he does this in his relationship with Nod though, now having learned that in relationships you really have to give.
And what did I learn to change? I need to be happier. In my wedding video I wasnt very happy, I was mostly stressed about getting everything right, the food, the decorations, the flowers... if there ever comes a wedding number two (though today I really hope there isnt) I really want to be focused on the marriage, the new union, the forever of it all.
Anyways, just some thoughts,