What is this thing called D...

Dating! Holy smokes, why do we put ourselves through this??
Ok ok, I get it, life is just one lesson after another, and Dating is just... well... this elaborate lesson.
 Most people think the purpose of dating is to weed out a good match, but its not. The real purpose is to be be weeded ourselves. What I mean, is that... we all have some growing up to do... we all have undesirable characteristics to overcome, and desirable characteristics to further develop. Dating TOTALLY does that. This is why I feel bad for people who get hitched so quick... sure, marriage will make you grow too, but dating is a totally different experience that shouldn't be passed by. This is the time for fantastic awkward moments: not knowing if guy J likes you back, or knowing all to well that guy T likes you too much. This is the time for precious moments, when guy H purposely touches your elbow for just one second and your heart pops.
Appreciate this time, appreciate all times. Every moment of your life is so unique. Yes, unique... that cliche word... but there is nothing like being a child, and there is nothing like being a mother. 
Dating is a series of challenges- to test your capacity for charity, your ability to self-reflect, and adapt. Once you've grown enough, and gotten rid of your own bad weeds...................................................... (pause... because this is definitely time-consuming)...................................................................................................... ...........................................
the Lord will place the right person in your path, the person He has been weeding for you.

Tear :'(

Something is terribly wrong with me! I just cant stop crying lately!! It's like Im pregnant, or perma-p.m.s.ing (though usually Im not a cryer even during that time)... neither of which are possible. I dont even particularily care about the things I cry about! Sometimes its after an inspiring youtube video, or a touching poem about the death of a dog (I know, right?). I always cry in the car, sometimes about a song on the radio, a memory on my Ipod, or cause Ive just hit a patch of ice and lost control of the car (AHH!). Tonight I cried before starting my assignment, I cried while studying my scriptures preparing to write my assignment, and I cried when I was done working on my assignment. Now, its not like Im losing it and sobbing everytime... in fact, most of the time it's a small small tiny cry... and sometimes its a big one... but really... I shouldnt be this emotional! It reminds me of last summer when I cried while reading my little brothers camp instructions (Helamens Encampment)! Being a mom has changed me... I know that... but, really? I don't mind crying about REAL issues, like last yeat when I was getting divorced, or dealing with a screaming baby for nights on end... but right now... Life is GREAT... There isnt much I would change...hmm... what would I change? I'd probably just take back a lost friend or two, move them into the house next door (Thats right Jare :P), and carry on... Hmph. Ok ladies, or men.... has this ever happened to YOU (when you werent suffering major life trauma, or a pregnancy, or depression, or... wait... maybe its the snow!! haha...)?

Running out...

Im running out of creativity and inspiration.
I used to write poems with my heart, and now I write them from my head.
I hate mechanical pencils.
I wish I could use a feather quill.

Im running out of youth.
My body will no longer take in unhealthy food and keep it there.
But good health takes time, of which Im running out,
After Ive made her breakfast, cleaned her up, played, gone to school, and meetings, and made dinner, and washed dishes and cleaned out the car,
I just dont feel like making myself a healthy supper.
Wasting time pressing blend on the vitamix,
making my jaw chew, or my lips drink

I only have time to waste on facebook, or thinking about last year, or poems I shouldnt have written, or read aloud. Im running out of reasons to focus on school, and to forget lots of good memories.
Im running out of gas in the car, food in the refridgerator, money in the bank...

But...
I will never run out of butterfly kisses, and that two year old button nose will always nudge mine before saying her prayers, and goodnight to the moon.


At least until she's 14

Updates- so happy you'll puke from too much cheese haha

So, where to start? Well, life has been pretty great for lil Nod and I this school year. Ive managed my time well so that I can be with her all morning, and in school for the afternoon (and one evening). Brosie's speech is finally coming along, and I attribute that partially to our increased quality time together... of course it is also due to the fabulous influence of the Lady who runs the Day home, and all the crazy little boys there! She says quite a few words, and learns new ones everyday (though few people can actually interpret her unique language of course). Nod spent her summer growing a head of hair, which also makes for a great deal of mommy-daughter fun! At first she would let me curl it, but one day she became strangely afraid of the curling iron because I told her it was hot, so we curl it less. I do try and french braid the two inches she has going, but it has yet to work out :P It has been exciting to watch her personality develop, and to see her gain interests and preferences. For instance, she loves to play kittens or puppies. If she is playing puppies she will play fetch and other sorts of doggy games, and if she is playing kittens you have to be crawling on the floor with her! She has started seeing a chiropractor who specializes in allergy elimination. He is psycho crazy with the eating regiment he lives, and we try our best to catch up. Her favorite treat is dates, and she would eat them all day if I let her. We also eat a lot of seeds and nuts, but its coming along slowly (she had french fries for two meals today)... Im just glad to be trying! Her favorite people seem to be her Dad and her Papa lately, in fact she loves men in general. Every time she is at a friends house she gets very excited to see their Dad, and at daycare she is always pointing out the other kids Dads. Im so glad to have my parents in town so she gets her fill of my Dad every other day. He is gone to Arizona for the next couple weeks though, and day one is killing her. We went over to feed my brothers fish and she was a sobbing mess when she saw that Papa (and everyone else `fun`) was gone. Poor kid!! I noticed today that her two-year molars are coming in, so Im going to blame her recent whiny behavior on that :P But really, that kid is my angel. Im so glad I was blessed with this opportunity to strengthen my bond with her, if life had stayed the way it was back in Southern AB I may not have taken the chance.
And me? Well, Ive been great. I feel like Ive spent the last 6 months overcoming my worst challenges in life, and while Im not perfect, I sure feel that way compared to how I used to be! I never thought I could be happy alone, and here I am! Ive learned that happiness comes from within, its not because of who youre around, who loves you, how well your life is going. Life can be crap, and you can choose to find the blessings in it. Happiness is this great gift I want to share with everyone- only its something we each need to find on our own... which is too bad. I have myriads of girlfriends who are single, and just waiting for the 'next best thing' like I used to be. If only there was a way to blend up my happiness and share it in a smoothie with everyone!
Now, what hasnt been great? Well, I got a C+ on an assignment last week, but she promised to knock off our lowest mark, and I have almost every week until April to come up with better poems. I got an A on a poem I wrote a while back, and Im thinking about making it a song. I didnt post that one on here, but maybe one day.
What else? Well, besides the fact that I seemed to have an eternal falling out with my best friend, I think everything is on the rise. Even that had its purposes you know? That friendship really made me think long and hard about who I spend my time with, and why. I want to be with people who are, like that friend, constantly uplifting me and improving me. I want to be that friend for everyone else. I have found that the more I love myself, the more people I can love. And, for the most part, the hurt from that falling out is gone now. Of course I would change the situation given the opportunity, but such an opportunity will likely never come. Instead, Im becoming a bit of an introvert, and Im happy that way. I go on less trips, I go out with YSA less. Instead Im acing most of my classes, and keeping a relatively clean house (I would still love to find a decently priced portable dishwasher).
 I went to the Cardston Temple for baptisms last month, and Im excited for Edmonton's temple to re-open soon! I also gave a couple talks this month, and Im loving my calling in Young Womens. Im working (veeeeery slowly) on my personal progress award... for one of the projects Im researching grad school and where to transfer next year. Im leaning towards Calgary (I know, Im an Oilers fan, but it would be less complicated for paperwork, and a touch warmer), or maybe back to Lethbridge. The oddest/best thing though, is the fact that I just feel completely satisfied. I love being single, I love being a mom, and I love being a student. Sure, snow falls, baby cries, and sometimes I stub my toe, but I couldnt ask for anything more... okay, well I couldnt ask for too much more... okay maybe peace on earth good will toward men... and global warming (so the snow goes away)... and an extra hour every day... and free guitar lessons... and voice lessons... and piano lessons... and a bajillion dollars... and a phone call from YOU! Haha, Merry start to the Christmas season everyone, Love to all... hope this wasnt too cheesy happy for you!!
xo,
Wink

Marry You (BETTER LYRICS)

It’s a beautiful night,
We’re looking for something fun to do.
Hey baby,
I think I wanna marry you.

Is it the look in your eyes,
Or is it those dancing shoes?
Who cares baby,
I think I wanna marry you.

Well I know this pretty temple on the boulevard we can go,
everyone can know,
Come on girl.
Who cares if we got cash, got a car the guests can trash, for show
covered in oreos
And we’re gone girl.

Don’t say no, no, no, no-no;
Just say yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah-yeah;
And we’ll go, go, go, go-go.
If you’re ready, like I’m ready.

Cause it’s a beautiful night,
We’re looking for something fun to do.
Hey baby,
I think I wanna marry you.

Is it the look in your eyes,
Or is it them dancing shoes?
Who cares baby,
I think I wanna marry you.

I’ll go get a ring let the choir bells sing like oooh,
So whatcha wanna do?
Let’s just run girl.
no we cant break up we just gotta make up, that’s cool.
so I can be with you;
It’s so fun girl.

Don’t say no, no, no, no-no;
Just say yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah-yeah;
And we’ll go, go, go, go-go.
If you’re ready, like I’m ready.


Cause it’s a beautiful night,
We’re looking for something fun to do.
Hey baby,
I think I wanna marry you.

Is it the look in your eyes,
Or is it them dancing shoes?
Who cares baby,
I think I wanna marry you.

Just say I do,
Tell me right now baby,
Tell me right now baby.

Cause it’s a beautiful night,
We’re looking for something fun to do.
Hey baby,
I think I wanna marry you.

Is it the look in your eyes,
Or is it them dancing shoes?
Who cares baby,
I think I wanna marry you.