I began to doubt everything, all the impressions I'd received, my feelings for Pete, and his person (because we both act a little differently with the girls around). I really dove into my scriptures and begged the Lord to give me further acknowledgment. Saturday night I began a fast for just that. On Sunday morning I told the Lord precisely what my concerns were, what I felt uneasy about. Without prior knowledge of my prayer (however knowing I had cold feet) Pete brought up most of my concerns throughout the day. At that moment I felt that he had been inspired to answer my prayer, and I became a lot more positive because he was able to quell my fears. We had been talking about this for days, and each day I felt more confident that I making a good choice, during each conversation I felt a spirit of peace. I took Monday 'off', I just needed to regroup and make sure I could still feel peace without Pete around. I asked my institute teacher for some doctrinal answers regarding marriage. He directed me to some great resources and we had a wonderful discussion. I learned that Heavenly Father leaves us to make our own choices within the guidelines of commandments. We are supposed to make a decision, and then go to him for confirmation. I learned that in my situation I will not be punished for marrying him cause he isnt the 'wrong' guy for me, and I also will not be punished for not marrying him because he isnt the only 'right' guy. Heavenly Father has made it clear to me what the benefits and sacrifices of marriage are. There are some general guidelines for the kind of person to marry (reliable, diligent, spiritual etc), and beyond that we get to choose. I have chosen someone who I can communicate openly and honestly with. I have chosen someone who is humble enough to turn to the Lord for answers, humble enough to accept correction well. I have chosen someone who is a magnificent father, even to teenagers who disrespect him, and even to a toddler who isnt his. I have chosen someone who loves me deeply, respects me, and treats me as a daughter of God. I have chosen someone whom I love deeply, whom I want to have for time and all eternity. So, I read some things, then I told the Lord my plan. I told the Lord why I want to marry Pete, and asked for His divine approval. It came. A sweet calming assurance, and a burning in my heart. I have come to love those teenagers, and I am willing and ready to become their stepmother/friend. If anxty teens is the worse Pete and I will ever deal with then we are set! Hah. I feel so confident knowing that it is my choice, and that the Lord approves! I made a good choice, a wonderful choice! Anyways, on Tuesday I continued to feel a growing surge of confidence. Pete's sister came down with my wedding dress and I was so elated to realize that I will be marrying him so soon in such a beautiful gown! Then on Wednesday I went to the temple. While there I was overwhelmed with feeling. It was the same strong feeling I have experienced on many occasions since meeting Pete. The same feeling I had during our important late night discussions, the same feeling as when he told me he loved me, the same feeling I had when I fasted about marrying him (twice), the same feeling I had when he proposed, and the same feeling I had when we attended the temple together. I couldnt stop beaming. I knew we would be married in that very temple very soon. I prayed while I was there for our sealing approval to come in the mail. Up until then I had been praying that it wouldnt come because I was unsure. Now here is the miracle... I only started praying for those papers on Tuesday, and then Wednesday at the temple, and then that night I realised that if I really wanted them to come I should mention in in *every* prayer. So I prayed over dinner that we would have the letter very soon (even though I had been told it would be another month). I felt very confident that because I had my answer, the Lord could verify the answer and send the papers sooner. I had told my Mother and my best friend Dare that only days before... and ... then... Gramma called and asked Pete to check the mail, I was on my way out and we decided to go together. He reached in the first box, turned to look at me with this HUGE grin on his face. I told him to stop teasing me. While he checked the other box I convinced myself that he was pulling my leg. He came back into the car and there it was! I picked up the beautiful envelope (I'm not exagerating, It wasnt white, or brown, but this beautiful and regal looking beige) from Salt Lake City and squealed!! He took the envelope and carefully opened the side, took out an equally beautiful paper. He scanned it quickly for a confirmation, then turned and asked "Elizabeth Thompson, Will you Marry me July 7th?" I said "yes! yes!", kissed him, and took a turn to look at the letter. We cried as we read it, then said a prayer of thanks, showed Brosie (in the back seat) what all the commotion was for, and admired the signatures of Presidents Thomas S Monson, Dieter F uchtdorf, and Henry B Eyring. I need no further confirmation. I know, Pete knows, The presidency of the church know, and our Father in Heaven knows that this eternal marriage will be the most wonderful and best event of our lives. This union is sanctioned by God. And, equally importantly I believe, it is sanctioned by us. This morning Pete called to book the temple and then texted me saying "Will you marry me at 10am on July 7th?". So, one month from today we will make this decision an eternal one and seal our lives and souls together forever. The only other day I look forward to as much as this is when Nod can join us in the temple also (waiting on permission from D).
You may wonder why I went into so much personal detail about my doubts, but I want to help teach others through my experiences. I also want you all to see the wonderful timing, the miracle! The Lord knew exactly when we needed to receive that letter. He is so good to us. Never forget that, because he is just as good to you. Prayer is defined as the method in which we ascertain blessings Heavenly Father is already willing to give us but that are dependent upon our asking for them.I love prayer.
Youre ALL invited to out luncheon and/or Open House. Invite will be posted later.