A couple months ago I read through some of my old posts and I was totally inspired to start writing again, but its been hard. Im pretty much always holding our newest babe (A BOOOOOY!) or cooking, cleaning, caring for the others. But then I went throuigh some old music (pretty much journal entries for me) and poetry and was re-inspired. This is the first chance Ive had since going through all that (I mean, with playoffs everything else is on the back burner... IM actually missing the game to write today haha- GO OILERS).
But, today is the kind of day that begs for notation.
It sucked the life out of me, stole some tears. Big ugly sobs actually.
but that forced me to breathe more. to show me where Ive fallen, how I hobble, and which muscles I really can flex.
Oh my little Nod. My first baby. Life is hard for her, as her brain zips and zaps. 0 to 150 in seconds. My No is poison to her lips. So I go silent, and her tears are stronger, so I speak, and they are stronger still. But then I remembered my parenting plan, helped her to calm, and My Love came home and listened to my sobbings.
And my littlest Sage. She had a rough go today too. Although my favorite part of today were her first words to me. "Mama, you look beautiful today." I didnt know she said that word. But it was the beautiful moment I clung to the rest of my day.
And my Boy. I let him skip one nap and the rest of the day he becomes a monster. Usually such a sweet baby, but today he screamed so hard he gagged and choked.
And my Love. Off from work, needing.
and all through this Im supposed to breath!!??
Well I had forgotten how. For me, I breathe in words, in chords, in diddies I make up while Im driving home.
so here I am, a[nother] painful beginning. Its always hard to start writing again, oh the writers cramp. and I need to chop these nails off. They are clacking the computer keys and they will get in the way if I try to chord. piano or guitar.
So here it is. Im going to go back to being me. to writing (i HOPE).
<3Love and peace to all <3